Never Trust a Scorpio. Joe Zimmerman - Full Special

2020-ж., 1-окт.
199 756 Көрүүлөр

Whether you're a scorpio, or whether you're not good at flirting with your personal trainer, Joe Zimmerman has experienced it all, and he's here to tell you all about it in his Full Dry Bar Comedy special. If you're interested in investing, or consider your self a person who always imagines the worst case scenario, then this Dry Bar Comedy special from Joe Zimmerman is for you!
If you enjoyed this Dry Bar Comedy special from Joe Zimmerman, be sure to check out the links below for more Dry Bar Comedians you might enjoy!
Greg Warren
Kellen Erskine
Warren B. Hall
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  • Seems nerdy ar first but witty way of thinking! Reminds me of my old roommate

    Christine LChristine LКүн мурун
  • I'm a Scorpio... Vibes 😁

    Melody MooreMelody Moore2 күн мурун
  • That lady is annoying me....sorry, not sorry.

    Ana's CornerAna's Corner3 күн мурун
  • Brilliant! Smooooooth delivery and So Funny :)

    Oliver BonillaOliver Bonilla3 күн мурун
  • He's right about Scorpios... They are just sad pathological people who always have an excuse to shift the blame to... Ready for accusatory basic crap from scorpio in 1..2..3..

    Devyani AccountDevyani Account3 күн мурун
  • I thought I read deadmau5 had a stand up act

    Julie_ TerryJulie_ Terry3 күн мурун
  • Made Me Laugh. Thanks.

    John DoeJohn Doe4 күн мурун
  • “Google it” is what my parents say all the time. That’s there way of admitting that they don’t know the definition of what a taco is.

    Noli GlobalNoli Global4 күн мурун
  • Well I almost laughed

    Marcus EngstromMarcus Engstrom5 күн мурун
  • Oh thumbs up first joke

    TheOJDrinkerTheOJDrinker5 күн мурун
  • that one laugh ruins all his jokes.

    Pale Blue GeekPale Blue Geek6 күн мурун
  • 04m:15ss Persistence joke. Think I saw Anthony Jeselnick perform that joke in a much older video ( didn´t see him live, of course :( ). He referred to romantic comedies and old people love stories, something like "she said no. So, everyday I waited for her... untill she said yes. Romantic? No, creepy!

    imalrockmeimalrockme7 күн мурун
  • He just sounds like your inner monologue not the angel or the demon but the human voice

    HIDDEN ArcherHIDDEN Archer7 күн мурун
  • 8 minutes in and not one chuckle out of me 😵😵

    Ms. Deflorimonte16Ms. Deflorimonte167 күн мурун
  • And "ol wacky eyes" 😂😂😂

    A. W.A. W.8 күн мурун
  • "I took no lover" 😂😂😂

    A. W.A. W.8 күн мурун
  • 🌷 My kind of humor. He was great! Thank you 😊

    Julia Lewis-SpannJulia Lewis-Spann8 күн мурун
  • This is some of the most enjoyable standup I've ever heard, and I watch/listen to standup multiple times a week!

    SherSher9 күн мурун
  • laughed so much! thanks :)

    pauline hammerpauline hammer10 күн мурун
  • Who ever that woman in the crowd was... I’m in love with you

    Daniel UrquizaDaniel Urquiza10 күн мурун
  • He reminds me of John Mulaney

    Cynthia FengCynthia Feng10 күн мурун
  • Loud laughing woman.. hmm

    Sandra CSandra C10 күн мурун
  • Libras ARE the best though lol

    Louise LaliberteLouise Laliberte10 күн мурун
  • Lmao love the eye surgery one 😂😂😂

    T. MyersT. Myers11 күн мурун
  • "So I still wear glasses!"

    Madame JBMadame JB11 күн мурун
    • Fave!

      Rachel LottRachel Lott3 күн мурун
  • The loud laugh track is annoying, but he's pretty funny, for sure.

    Deb KincaidDeb Kincaid11 күн мурун
  • I love the way you think!....btw...I grew up with 2 scorpion sister and a scorpio mother...taurus brother!

    Merri MorningstarMerri Morningstar12 күн мурун
  • Would the lady with the hearty laugh please come down to the front, you and Joe might be a match made in heaven, idk😂

    Ruth MekuriaRuth Mekuria12 күн мурун
  • Lol lov his style and topics

    Tamara RobertsTamara Roberts12 күн мурун
  • One of the most talented comedians I've ever seen. He's able to turn his observations of the human condition into amazingly witty and intelligent humor.

    ZeldaZelda12 күн мурун
  • He can perform at my house.

    Cole BrogdenCole Brogden12 күн мурун
  • 😆😅🤣😍🤩🥰🤟🤟 I love it that he's a Scorpio because that's one of my favorite signs I love these people and most people do lie so that was funny too I love him hilarious

    Marie ClarkMarie Clark12 күн мурун
  • I had to like this video just for the bit on Google.

    Zach EvansZach Evans13 күн мурун
  • So freaking funny!!

    Jacqueline McIntoshJacqueline McIntosh14 күн мурун
  • No.. that lady is obnoxious. Whoooo tf even laughs like that?

    CW NicholasCW Nicholas14 күн мурун
  • Oh man, that laugh from the lady!! Lol

    Paul AdamePaul Adame14 күн мурун
  • Sooo hilarious!

    Morticia HeisenbergMorticia Heisenberg15 күн мурун
  • make ah pod cast for these stand ups

    RedDotStuntzRedDotStuntz15 күн мурун
  • Chupacabra joke hilarious

    Alice RoseAlice Rose15 күн мурун
  • This was a good set

    Otto von WolfOtto von Wolf15 күн мурун
  • "Why is this baby in my area?" Lol YES!

    Aaron McClureAaron McClure16 күн мурун
  • That seems to be the theme with all of their videos. It's either a laugh track or they have mics in the audience.

    CJ1976 BuzzCJ1976 Buzz16 күн мурун
  • "Did I offend you with my friendship" is just me all the time

    eliza spoteeliza spote16 күн мурун
  • Scorpions are crazy!!

    Marlin GreenMarlin Green16 күн мурун
  • This lady in the audience ! He should take her to every show! I love it !

    Kiara MooreKiara Moore17 күн мурун
  • Scorpio here and yes we can be heartless but we'll be sad about it later on and apologize

    Felipe SolisFelipe Solis17 күн мурун
  • That lady is a joy haha

    central america panamacentral america panama17 күн мурун
  • That one lady's laugh tho...

    Matthew NeillMatthew Neill17 күн мурун
  • I'm Rollin!!!

    Alana MakayaAlana Makaya17 күн мурун
  • Oh man that woman is distracting and annoying! I swear she's trying to out-laugh everyone else.

    Dee SmithDee Smith17 күн мурун
  • that's why noo yawkers don't meditate.... we can keep our eyes open and go about our business and still have the capacity to worry....and the guru said to the hot dog vendor..'make me one with everything'....

    mark brownnermark brownner17 күн мурун
  • Hilarious! And that voice! Reminds me of Pooh Bear🤩

    *Tantrika Exotica**Tantrika Exotica*17 күн мурун
  • Thanks for posting! Joe is very funny, really lightens it up!

    Roger StyanRoger Styan18 күн мурун
  • Libras are awful though, if you're gonna lie about your zodiac at least pick a good sign xD

    AsteriaAsteria18 күн мурун
    • Taurus and Virgos are supposed to be loyal...but also read a Scorpio can be loyal if they trust you...

      Angela LaneAngela Lane16 күн мурун
  • One of the funniest sets I've seen in a while, he's masterful in many ways

    Richard WilsonRichard Wilson18 күн мурун
  • Love your material! Very funny!

    holly feulingholly feuling18 күн мурун
  • Love it- I was born Oct 24, so yeah, I get away with the libra move. :::sting:::

    fkovacs1fkovacs118 күн мурун
  • He was so proud of himself wiping “flipping mattresses”... and rightly so:)

    Adam, the Owner of Your Passionate GroomerAdam, the Owner of Your Passionate Groomer19 күн мурун
  • My best friends are Scorpio.

    Nikie PuntNikie Punt19 күн мурун
  • The worst case scenario was the best part. Lol

    Trey BernTrey Bern19 күн мурун
  • Laughed some tears!

    Robin RedwineRobin Redwine19 күн мурун
  • im tryna marry this man

    SierraSierra19 күн мурун
    • @Philip Bruton bahaha idk he's cute and funny!

      SierraSierra9 күн мурун
    • Why do all you girls love him?

      Philip BrutonPhilip Bruton9 күн мурун
  • that one lady acted like she had never heard a joke before i swear her laugh was all i could pay attention to

    Sarah AshcraftSarah Ashcraft19 күн мурун
  • 6:36 , 8:08 😭😭

    Top InezTop Inez19 күн мурун
  • That was awesome!

    Wanda ParkerWanda Parker20 күн мурун
  • Investing in a mattress lol I paid $200 for a memory foam that I love, but I won't pay much for it.

    Rivalt KennelsRivalt Kennels21 күн мурун
  • Actually scorpios are the one sign you should trust. We are born to be to yo be trusted.

    Emily RileyEmily Riley21 күн мурун
  • Dude, thank y’all so much. I needed those laughs.

    Jennaveve St. ClaireJennaveve St. Claire21 күн мурун
  • I would totally date you. It’s like you’re just having this normal conversation and then “insert punchline”. But then just look at them blankly leaving them wondering if you were joking or not. And you just blink. Lol That takes a lot of wit. I dig it!

    Jennaveve St. ClaireJennaveve St. Claire21 күн мурун
  • OMG naked. Chipotle. Bed and “Do you have New Girl on Hulu??? I died!! LOL Thought I was the only one??

    Jennaveve St. ClaireJennaveve St. Claire21 күн мурун
  • I'm dead! 🤣

    Barbara PittsBarbara Pitts21 күн мурун
  • Me, a Libra - Scorpio cusp: Uhhh, 👀 accurate. 🤪🤣🤣

    SalvachickSalvachick21 күн мурун
    • Me too 😂

      Kardia ClarkKardia Clark17 күн мурун
  • I'm a "Libra" too..... 😂😂😂😂

    Crystal LeeCrystal Lee21 күн мурун
    • 😁😁😁😁

      Lungani CeleLungani Cele9 күн мурун
  • Crazy that I found this today cus I'm actually on jury duty and I don't want to be a part of it, so I dressed up like a freak, wearing all black with an anarchy t-shirt and big dirty boots and just an overall creep look, yaknow, like someone I figured they wouldn't want on their jury. But that wasn't enough for them to kick me out, and then they didn't give us a test or anything to see who are the best candidates out of those who were summoned, they just kept all of us there and didn't even care that I had my eyes closed the whole time. Then I sent them an email telling them how stupid they are that they just have random people be on a jury because those people could be deranged lunatics or whatever, and I told them that I better not be expected to do anything but show up and sit there, and I'm gonna sleep the whole time because I work night shift and they're making me be there during my regular sleeping hours. And then they called me on my cell and I yelled at them and told them I was an angry anarchist who wants nothing to do with any of their government crap and that I'm not going to do anything involving writing or voting. And they said they didn't care and that I still have to go and they said I don't have to participate at all, I just have to be there. So apparently they're fine with having someone there who's just gonna sit and be angry the whole time. What's the point of this crap??? It's Absurd.

    MilkrootsMilkroots21 күн мурун
  • im not gay but this guy's package is straight buldging through his jeans. probably an 8 incher huh ladies?

    Joel GibsonJoel Gibson22 күн мурун
    • A lot of balls

      Ohamz DelphiaOhamz Delphia21 күн мурун
  • Laughed from beginning to end!

    Renee GilbertRenee Gilbert22 күн мурун
  • They don't. they consider the ramifications and decide not. 3cheers from Canada

    Patricia HopeyPatricia Hopey22 күн мурун
  • That woman sure loves to laugh. I’m right behind her. She has a couple of breaths on me.

    Electric HellionElectric Hellion22 күн мурун
  • Scorpios are the most trustworthy, but the trust must be earned and maintained.

    Azkuula K'taktuAzkuula K'taktu22 күн мурун
  • Great show, great show !!

    J. Martin WillsJ. Martin Wills22 күн мурун
  • This is SO GOOD 🤣

    Kaila HeleneKaila Helene22 күн мурун
  • Great set..I like when comedians bash themselves the whole way through.

    Norman HoweNorman Howe22 күн мурун
  • He sounds like Roger from American Dad😂😂

    Jorge OJorge O23 күн мурун
  • I'm a scorpio too.

    Samantha WarrenSamantha Warren23 күн мурун
  • Hey, remember how you dont like me, how about now?🤣🤣🤣

    MaryanneMaryanne23 күн мурун
  • You have to live life like the woman laughing in the audience... to the fullest 🦾

    M. O.M. O.23 күн мурун
    • thinking that the whole time. that one's a keeper.

      My Brothers KeeperMy Brothers Keeper6 күн мурун
    • @JimFlyMan haha... it is full

      M. O.M. O.8 күн мурун
    • I can appreciate that if it wasn’t the main thing my mind is focusing on because it’s... loud

      JimFlyManJimFlyMan8 күн мурун
  • Technically... he missed that by lying as a Scorpio he was actually being honest... true to his nature... therefore trustworthy. :)

    Douglas WoodDouglas Wood23 күн мурун
  • My mom: He chased me until I caught him.

    Phunny PharmPhunny Pharm23 күн мурун
  • Joe Zimmerman is a very funny guy. Great set. Bravo.

    f5mandof5mando23 күн мурун
  • that woman laughing.. so satisfying.

    Andriev BastichyAndriev Bastichy23 күн мурун
  • Just like it is easier to find a job if you already have a is easier to get a girl if you already have one. Don't hate the guys who figure it out.

    donald johnsondonald johnson23 күн мурун
  • The worse case scenario. 😅😅😅😅😅

    Andrea BadreeAndrea Badree23 күн мурун
  • Will you go home with me tonight? I'm afraid of being charged for murder. Ha! Love it.

    Pam GonzalezPam Gonzalez23 күн мурун
  • Kind of stale. Didn't have me laughing too much, not at all

    Little Kawaii CherryLittle Kawaii Cherry23 күн мурун
  • Dry Bar always sounds like it has a 1970’s laugh track.

    Happy FarmerHappy Farmer23 күн мурун
  • Scorpios tell the truth but they will lie if they don't want to give you personal information because they don't trust you.

    Mental DeviantMental Deviant23 күн мурун
    • Spoken like a true scorpio 💯I will lie to your face if I don't trust you and you insist on prying then I say F- it , who the hell are you? You can't get me into heaven or keep me out of hell. My lies can me in the lake of 🔥. It would be more gratifying to sting you. 👀🙏💃♏ November true

      Gia Monette'Gia Monette'5 күн мурун
    • Real Scorpios don't trust astrology.

      bealetmbealetm6 күн мурун
    • All of these are bs, cuz I'm the most scorpio aquarius I ever met

      Quocalimar AnonQuocalimar Anon7 күн мурун
    • I mean or.. and here me out... The stars don't decide who you are, you do.

      JackJack8 күн мурун
    • @Azkuula K'taktu I think any sign can be Narcissist but I read Scorpios will lie to protect their privacy if you are a stranger.

      Mental DeviantMental Deviant19 күн мурун
  • That one lady in the audience is laughing up a STORM!

    hausofroxxhausofroxx23 күн мурун
  • I sold a mattress for 20% profit after using it for two years and after watching this video I feel like that situation was exactly how this guy got a trainer

    Vineeta TyagiVineeta Tyagi24 күн мурун
  • Wow. Your jokes are actually really funny. Home run, man. Super refreshing. Loved every bit of it. Thanks for the great Sunday morning. Keeping an eye out for your name in the future.

    EricEric24 күн мурун
  • That one loud laugher was rather distracting, annoying. Thought he was quite funny though.

    Christine deGarmoChristine deGarmo24 күн мурун